this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
