so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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