ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
