So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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