you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
