I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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