I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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