Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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