Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize