Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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