***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
