these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
