All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
