Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You were trust falling into bushes
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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