I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
