I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
