all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
