Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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