i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
