I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
