Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
