Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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