don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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