And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
