I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
