Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
