so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
