that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
last night I used snow as a chaser
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
