We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
