Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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