He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
