Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
