you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
