you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
