I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
