I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
