i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
