Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
