Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
