alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The uberlube is also flammable
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
