I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
