Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
