You just made me feel so damn special
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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