I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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