Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
