Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
