I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
