Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
so let's talk penis.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Randomize
