i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
