Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
