I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize